Wonder Woman Solved

The arts not great and the styles aren't the same, but I think the design works.

The arts not great and the styles aren’t the same, but I think the design works.

Those of you who’ve been to this site before might remember HooseTwo having tackled Wonder Woman in the past… not literally of course because Wonder Woman is fictional… also because, were she real, she’d break me in half.

Well the issue of Diana’s wardrobe has come up again in the wake of the Zack Snyder / ComicCon / B-v-S / Xena brown picture released recently as a teaser leading up to the big screen debut of the super lady in 2016.

Some have called it blah, others say it could be good once we see the real color scheme, while still others think it looks great.

I’ve read complements, I’ve read complaints. I’ve seen questions about the choice of chest plate, the high heals, the no pants… pants or no pants seems to be an unnecessarily big issue with fans of the Amazon Princess.

I for one am in the blah camp.

It’s a little too Xena for my taste. I’d like to see something more traditional with the stars and the boots and whatnot… I’m still of the opinion that Superman and Batman should have their underwear on the outside as superhero god intended it.

I hate the very mention of – practicality – when it comes to superhero costumes.

Is it impractical to fight crime in a pair of star spangled undies, a push up corset, and high heals? Of course it is but who cares? Wonder Woman isn’t real! She never needs to worry about a nip slip… it simply cannot happen to her.

Here’s why…

If the actress playing Wonder Woman were to slip out of her costume the Director would simply shout… Cut! Then wardrobe would come in and reset everything and shooting would continue, nipple free.

If a comic artist drew Diana falling out of her top his Editor would probably say something like… What the – blank – are you thinking, draw a top on her or clean out your – blanking – desk.

When you start asking questions about the practicality of the costume of a fictional character that was born from the soil, brought to live by a goddess, flies an invisible jet, and owns a lasso that makes people tell the truth… you’ve missed the point of comics.

However.

I don’t think Diana needs to look like a prostitute to be Wonder Woman. Her original costume isn’t nearly as sexy-ish or as sexist as some of the stuff she’s worn over the past couple of decades and it doesn’t need to be smutty going forward.

The thing about Wonder Woman that a lot of people forget is that she’s not a superhero like Batman or Superman. Wonder Woman is an ambassador.

She won the right to represent her people so she’s sort of a Olympian combined with John Kerry… and how weird would it be if John Kerry showed up at some Middle East peace conference wearing a Speedo. Hint: It’d be very VERY weird.

So how do you solve a problem like Diana?

You gotta think of her first and foremost as the ambassador she is. Not as a woman, not as a sex object, not as a crime fighter. She’s an ambassador and she represents HER culture and HER people, while walking and living among ours.

Whatever she’s wearing she needs to be able to walk into the White House and greet the First Lady and then in an instant… rush off to kick the everliving crap out of Darkseid.

Above is my humble attempt at a Wonder Woman redesign.

Better artists have tried and done a MUCH MUCH better job, but I think I’ve at last settled the issue for myself. This is Wonder Woman solved. This is what she should wear… at least in my opinion.

But then again… I’m a man and not a fashion designer, plus of course there’s the fact that she isn’t real and none of this really matters. I’ve probably already put way too much thought into this entire thing.

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2 Responses to Wonder Woman Solved

  1. doodlehoose says:

    The thing about Wonder Woman and even real ambassadors would be that the costume would need to change constantly. I think that it’s entirely reasonable for her to have different uniforms for different conditions and occasions. Oh and I like the design that you made but don’t think I understand the thumbnails. Are they burkas?

  2. Matt says:

    The thumbnails are the same design, but showing the front and back. The little stick figure WW is just to show how they’d fit. Far Left is the front of the inside outfit, then the front of the outside cover, then the back of the outside cover, and the Far Right is the back of the inside outfit.

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